Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

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It has been a big few days for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

The very first portion pertains to all of us via xojane, the women’s web site went up by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(i am serious) of




Titled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion falls under the “it simply happened to Me” feature which also existed at JANE magazine and is made up mainly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating private encounters.

The private writer of this portion, who I’ll contact “Ariel,” is in fact bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies blow jobs to the woman male associates but does not big date or usually go down on women, she’s, she explains, technically, merely a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She also makes reference to herself as “mostly straight” and “directly” at various other points into the narrative.) The woman reputation started, she explains, when her very first lesbian hookups — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at the woman university — transpired on her behalf for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it immediately after which right away fled the world fearing her own failure to perform such fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted period.

She produces:

“obviously, word got around that she and I had connected and therefore I’d kept the girl clinging, which in fact had the peculiar effectation of offering myself folk-heroine condition. Kelly also known as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I found myself one. It had been like some kind of flick conceit where in actuality the hero is mistaken for a celebrity and reaches ride in a limo and stay in a fancy lodge for the reason that it.”

This evidently entirely worked out in her own benefit, as she romped about in college starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds exactly who had gotten off on the idea that I happened to be reluctant to permit a female touch me personally.” Post-college, she shifted to your internet, where she marketed her calm position and frequently came across up with women for NSA intercourse.

Around the end she problematically describes that whenever setting up with a woman she is not drawn to, she just shuts the woman sight and envisions another person “while [the lesbian] really does her thing.” Sometimes it seems like she wishes women to consume her out because they are presumably much better at it than men are. She


drop on them but “I’m not online dating all of them, and I also don’t believe i’d want my personal fetish corrupted by looking after someone enough to give back.”

I mightnot need to sit down close to Ariel on an aircraft, but the woman one-sided intimate experiences tend to be consensual and she’s only informing a genuine story of the woman life, thus I’m not certain what to make of this (and I’m curious to know what you create of it, if anything).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Good Guys Project
) we’ve
We Married a Lesbian (and that I’m some guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended in order to get crushes on a single types of lady: the star basketball player, the football onward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy questioned:

The facts that received me frequently to women who happened to be same-sex attracted? It certainly wasn’t the stereotypical male fantasy regarding what these were carrying out during sex, and it also truly had nothing to do with a macho perception that i possibly could switch a gay woman straight.

In components, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me personally of this estimate from

Girls Next-door

which I quoted in a write-up about feminine maleness

“…if we’d to make an added generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that the majority of united states are incredibly keen on women, homosexual or directly, breathtaking or otherwise not, whom seem like they are able to eliminate on their own.”

Mcdougal sooner or later marries a lesbian just who offered as directly, and he found their own causing sex life to get unsatisfactory. She would not offer him blow tasks and failed to enjoy penetration but happily approved his choices of cunnilingus. When their unique sexless relationship ended in separation and divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he could be apparently caring to his ex-wife’s challenge instead of labeling the woman as deceitful (as numerous of the commenters carry out):

She had come from a conservative family who would being seriously embarrassed having a homosexual child. She may will have identified, but did the lady better to cover it, probably wishing that her thoughts might alter. Or she may have been like lots of ladies i have recognized, and just found the woman genuine sexual identity after currently becoming married to a guy.

What is redeeming about this essay in my opinion that the author’s conception of his or her own gender is generally free from the traditional masculine posturing any might anticipate in a piece similar to this (he even refers to themselves as “femmy”). Possibly it really seems that means because males so hardly ever talk about hoping powerful, athletic, effective females with short-hair; but it’s energizing none the less.

I really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for informing their unique stories, but it is really worth discussing that both narratives appear to drive in the idea that bedroom behavior is the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s organization, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning signal” the guy skipped, when entrance is scarcely a specifically heterosexual work (it appears more likely Courtney feared the closeness of entrance with a person she did not wish as with, yet that knows) and dropping crazy, fundamentally, concerns the pussy but it’s in addition about your heart and it’s typically about having romantic thoughts. Those intimate thoughts are what transforms a hook-up relationship into a relationship, after all.

At long last at

we now have a nice tale straight from the pony’s lips —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I think here is the first-time the “first-time” series provides featured a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to the woman best friend that she had lesbian emotions for her, and her best friend reciprocated, and so they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian relationship and are still collectively now and she is a grown-up from inside the army!

This indicates they’ve however to take their union out from the cabinet, which will be slightly puzzling, but whatever

. [


: works out this tale ended up being created before DADT had been repealed, although it just got published, consequently nothing is puzzling taking place right here. This is just straight-up nice in almost every method, unequivocally.]

The main focus with the part (in fact it is really precious and sweet) is on mcdougal’s knowledge of
exactly what lesbian intercourse is quite

We’d never gone down on every different, and I ended up being pretty sure that is what we would meant when we mentioned we desired to make love. (Now I understand that there is even more to fucking than licking a woman’s vagina and contacting it each day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that the majority of folks disagree regarding what virginity method for a gay girl, but virginity is entirely personal, and it really will depend on whom you’re inquiring. Some people might say penetration needs to be involved, but In my opinion it is up to anyone dropping his or her virginity. Easily feel like i have lost my virginity, subsequently goddammit, You will find!

I invested almost all of the early morning and mid-day staring at wordpress, trying to figure out just what point I could generate about these parts. I was thinking many about why we’d never release “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about website but can not see through the reason that I’d worry 50 of you would vow to never go back here plus the remaning many-thousands of you would fight with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure until the heat death of the world. I envisioned some body posting “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to all of us via email immediately after which I imagined the article conference in which we might can that story and all of say “NO” additionally.

In trying to find a spot to gleam from all of these tales, i have made an effort to determine what might imagine or state, and that I can’t, and that I desire to complete this post as quickly as possible to increase the procedure of me determining how you feel about these stories. Yup, the very first time ever since beginning Autostraddle, i have got little idea things to say about a thing. Thus possibly i ought to only ask you to answer — what’s your own a reaction to these pieces?

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